“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3: 5 & 6.

What Do These Words Mean?

Manage, using a simple definition of the word, is to direct, control, or be organized for you to reach a goal. Manage is a verb, an action or skill you display, to depict how you do what you have to do.

Emotions describe your physiological states and are generated subconsciously or consciously. Usually, your emotional states are linked to bodily responses to certain external or internal events. By contrast, your feelings are highly subjective expressions of your emotions and are driven by conscious thoughts and reflections.

Success is the standard or condition of meeting your defined range and level of expectations. It can be viewed as the opposite of failure or defeat. The criteria for your success depends on the context within which it is measured, and may be relative to a particular state or to your belief system.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions.  EQ helps you in positive ways to regulate your social awareness and to have empathy. It also guides you how to relieve stress, communicate effectively, overcome challenges and defuse conflicts.

Therefore, various researches have concluded that there is wide agreement that the management of your emotional intelligence is linked to your success in life.

One component of your emotional intelligence is emotion regulation – a set of conscious mental tactics that you can use to deal with emotional, stressful situations.

Avoid Negative Emotion Regulations

By better managing your negative emotions, such as anxiety, annoyance, disappointment, regret and anger, you can improve both your wellbeing and performance. There are four main strategies that drives your negative emotions.

1. Rumination which is a pattern of thinking negative excessively.
2. Self-blame refers to a process of criticizing yourself.
3. Other-blame involves attributing fault for the events.
4. Catastrophizing is dwelling on the worst aspects or possible consequences.

There are five helpful emotion regulation strategies that you can use to manage your emotions.

Encourage Positive Emotion Regulations

John 14: 27 says “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.“

1. Putting into perspective involves assessing your situation in relation to others that are more significantly distressing.
2. Positive reappraisal is finding a positive meaning or looking for a beneficial outcome that might result.
3. Positive refocusing refers to appropriate attempts to think about pleasant situations.
4. Acceptance is acknowledging a difficult situation as opposed to denying its existence.
5. Refocus on planning involves thinking through your next steps and practical actions to take.

Age And Gender Differences

There are broad gender differences in the use of emotional cognitive strategies. Gender differences do not mean that all women and all men are this way. These are only tendencies established within large samples.

Researches have found that women use the positive strategy of putting into perspective more than men. Less helpfully, women reported use of rumination more than men. Men tended to blame others more than women.

Women’s use of rumination suggests that they may worry more, harming their own wellbeing. In contrast, men tend to lash out more, potentially harming others’ wellbeing to a greater extent.

There may also be age differences in emotion regulation. Studies suggest that long-term practice may benefit older persons ability to regulate emotions. In turn, this may potentially benefit their capacity to deal with stressful, emotion-provoking circumstances.

Practice Strong Regulations

You may vary greatly in the extent to which you use the various strategies. Effort and intentional practice is likely to strengthen your emotion regulation skills.

Studies suggest that you have at your disposal at least nine emotional strategies for dealing with what ever life throws at you. You decide and choice which you want to employ.

By understanding the helpful ways in which you can deal with emotionally-charged situations, you may begin to find more useful ways of responding. You have to constantly practice the positive regulations to gain an advantage that is beneficial to you.

How Can EQ Help You Succeed?

When you display a high EQ you tend to be less stressed, you communicate better,  you manage your emotions and empathize with others readily. Your social skills allow you to communicate clearly, influence others and manage conflict constructively.

You are able to monitor your own emotions and that of others. This allows you to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide your thinking and actions accordingly.

The five elements of EQ are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill. All five of these dimensions can be developed constructively to make life and work more enjoyable. Self management extends to discipline to cause you to be focused. You then become a high achiever with set goals in life.

“In a study published in the Journal of Vocational Behavior, Joseph C. Rode, professor of management at the Farmer School of Business at Miami University of Ohio, and his coauthors found emotional intelligence is linked to higher salaries and increased job satisfaction.”

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